As Exhumed Films has proved before, sometimes movies are obscure for a reason, but every once in a while the anonymity of a particular piece of celluloid can be a huge injustice. At the first (of hopefully many) eX-Fest, we were treated to some hidden gems and subjected to some that should probably never be seen by anyone (except for people as kooky as I am). Saturday saw the screening of twelve hours worth of some of the most obscure and batshit movies ever filmed. It was a great day of some truly whacky films, screened in the environment they were meant to be seen in.
First was, Cutthroats Nine, a dark, gritty Western about a group of convicts chained together in a perilous journey across the frontier. Odd thing to note about this film is that aside from the exploitative trappings, the first half or so is actually a quite solid thriller. It was definitely fun to watch.
The second film, No Way Out was your typical revenge movie: guy wants out of mob, mob kills his family, and he takes revenge. An ending that caught me off guard, some off-the-wall death scenes, and a perpetual soundtrack of funk kept things interesting. Probably one of the more straightforward films of the night.
After the first two films, split apart by a handful of themed trailers, was Movie #3. Dan of Exhumed Films in his status updates had warned us of this film, and from the first shot, it proved to be worth the hype. The film was the very obscure The Face with Two Left Feet, described as Travolta-sploitation. Yes, it was that weird. In this Italian film, a character who looks EXACTLY like John Travolta is convinced by his friends to imitate the actor in order to get the girl. I was hesitant to mention this film, because if you try to look it up on the Internet Movie Database or Google or any other all-knowing search engine, you won’t find it. My fiance and I spent most of tonight trying. Some of you detractors may doubt the films existence because of its lack presence across the web, but I assure you, it’s real and it’s spectacular. Probably the most batshit movie I’ve ever seen, hands down.
Fourth up was Savage!, a blaxpoitation film following the adventures of a mercenary for hire in a revolution-torn country.
Redneck Miller was the fifth film of the night. Described as “hicks-sploitation” it follows a country western DJ whose motorcycle is used in the theft of a shipment belonging to a thug named Supermack. This causes quite a bit of trouble for our misogynistic hero who delivers the infamous line to a near-rape victim that he did not try to save: “You can take a whole lot of loving, but I can only die one time.” Wow…
The second to last film was the Shaw Brothers’ classic The Five Fingers of Death. The influence on Tarantino’s Kill Bill and the music of the Wu-Tang Clan is very evident in this precious artifact. A good time all around and it reminded me of the most valuable lesson one could ever learn from a Kung Fu movie: NEVER assault or kill someone’s teacher. It will come back to bite you.
By 9:30, the coffee had worn off and I was dreading the half hour drive back to Levittown, but the desire to see what was next overpowered the need to sleep. I was not disappointed and I don’t think the crowd was either, when they were presented with none other than the beloved fairy tale, Cinderella. No, not the Walt Disney version. I’m talking the 1970s, softcore porno musical starring Cheryl Smith as the titular heroine and Sy Richardson as the gay, African American fairy godmother (no, I’m not making this up). This one’s guaranteed to put your jaw on the floor; it’s pure sexploitation, and a real joy to the eyes and the funny bone. It was hard not to get a kick out of it.
Exhumed Films is usually a name synonymous with having a good time, but every once in a while, they outdo themselves. eX-Fest, like their 24 Hour Horrorthons every October is one of those occasions. I’m hoping they do one of these again, very soon because, frankly, I am always up for rotting my brain. Next up is Go Ape, the entire Planet of the Apes series July 31st. Tickets for that are here: http://www.exhumedfilms.com/goape.html
UPDATE You actually can find some info on The Face with Two Left Feet here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0123927/ and watch a clip here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfxHj9nLFvA… Thanks Phil, for pointing that out.